A complete personality consists of two parts, the good and the evil or the light and the dark. Even though we do not want to accept the darkness that is actually a very real part of us, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. In my opinion this is the bravest part of our evolution a human can understand is to be fully self aware. Most of us can go through our entire life blind to the negative aspects that we don’t want to see but are evidently clear to everyone else around us.
Over the years I have accepted “some” parts of my shadow or darkness, admitting that I have certain undesirable or negative traits within me. But the real aha moment has come when I realized that these negative parts of myself that I wont even admit to myself exist are actually assisting in my life creation. Once I became aware I had a choice. I could either keep denying these parts or choose to learn how to integrate them. Wether you like it or not the subconscious is running the show. Our true self is in charge so we can teach them to either work in harmony or we can deny them. Denial of ourself and not knowing who we are creates split personalities and fragmented souls. To be complete and whole we must acknowledge all parts of ourself and harmonize the energies together.
Here are two extremely important reasons why you must look at your shadows.
- If you are blind to certain aspects in yourself and denying them, your subconscious will project them onto other people and you will see and experience in others exactly what you deep down inside hate about yourself. This simply means you are not fully loving and accepting of yourself and trying to hide certain parts and these parts will show you over and over and over and over again until you wake up. This can be kind of a nightmare. This is a very unpleasant experience as you go from relationship to relationship looking at everyone as the problem. You stay in victim because your not aware that your projecting and creating what exists in you. Until you accept, love and integrate it harmonizing and balancing these light and dark energies, the energies will fight against each other. Your shadow energies have good aspects when you shine the light on them. Everything has the potential to have the higher outcome from the higher self. If its happening to you it exists in you. If you take issue with something, thats your issue.
- Wether you like it or not your subconscious, the dark and light energies are creating your experiences. If your denying the dark energies, they will still create dark experiences. The only way to create better experiences is to shine the light on them.
How do we become aware of our own shadows?
- Whatever triggers you is your issue
- Whatever you don’t like in another person is what exists in you that you don’t like about yourself
- Whatever your projecting onto other people is coming from your own subconscious
4. Projecting happens with the aligned energy of two people. If your reacting to a projection, than its your issue too. If your not reacting than its purely the other persons projection.
This has been absolutely phenomenal to me to experience this realization. I was always very open and spoke freely about my wounds and even shadows. But the experiences I was creating were not matching up with my beautiful vision of myself as a loving, big hearted, healed woman. I was creating amazing things and meeting amazing people but I also created bad things and met bad people. The realization happened when I fully took responsibility for all my creations and recognized these bad things absolutely must exist in me. And the thing is as humans they exist in all of us. And it takes major bravery to look at those things. This is by far the hardest self work I have ever done.
Here are some ways to start your Shadow work Journey
- Write down everything negative that you can remember that other people have told you about yourself that you may have even denied
- pay attention to what triggers you and write it down
- write down the behaviors in your current or previous partners that you don’t like
- Get over your self and recognize that your human and not a god
- listen to the little voices in your head
- meditate, this really helps to become self aware
- actually listen when people tell you stuff about yourself.
Here is a list of some great books about Shadow Work and Soul Retreval. With a little bravery we can make a huge change in our life.
The Undiscovered Self by Carl jung
The Secret of the Shadow by Debbie Ford
Shadow work journal by Jessica Cross
From Dark to Light by Belinda Davidson
Shakti rising by Katvitha Chinnaiyan
Soul Retrieval by Sandra Ingerman
An Introduction to Shadow Work by Glenn Smith