Hi Im Tiana and like a lot of us, in my twenties I went on a deep search of self discovery, healing and finding peace. This uncovering lasted for two decades, 30 countries and continues on to this day. During my journey I tried and learned many things. My initiations came in the form of meditation, shamanism, tantra, art, ancestry work, plant medicine and death.
My life path number is a 9 (To Develop Spirituality, Creativity, Philanthropy, Integrity and Wisdom in Every Aspect of Your Life)
In Human Design I’m a Generator 6/2 (Role Model, Hermit)
My sun sign is Taurus on the cusp of Aries with Leo rising, Cancer moon and Gemini in my Venus
My nationality on my dads side is Native American and Dutch and on my moms side Spanish and English.
I am connected and work with my Native American ancestors as well as my great great grandmother on my mothers side. I also work with a lion and a fox.
My tools come from my life experience:
Hawaii – Meditation, Kria Yoga, Nature Medicine
At age 27 I left my fiancé and moved to Hawaii, it was my Saturn return and I needed answers. I had issues and had no idea where they were coming from. Not knowing where to start I tried meditation. I read a book called the autobiography of a yogi and this book was my initiation and start off my healing journey. In this book he teaches a method called Kria yoga. I began to practice this method and would meditate with the spirit of Yogananda. I meditated in Hawaii 4 hours a day for two years.
I cried, I purged, I transformed.
I also started to have visions. I began having visions of living and traveling allover Europe with a “spiritual leader type person”. The visions were so real that I went to LA to follow them.
Los Angeles- Following a Thread, Shamanism, Shamanic tools
After two years in Hawaii I moved to LA following the visions I had about the “spiritual person” I would be working with. I met this person in the flesh almost immediately and we started a world tour of healing and hit the road. This person referred to himself as a “Shaman”
My mom was also studying shamanism during this time and she taught me about “soul retrieval” my “power animal” and this was the beginning of our Shamanic apprenticeship. I began practicing Shamanism with the moon, going into shamanic journey and trance with my animal every new moon and full moon.
Europe- Acceptance, Self Love, Pleasure, and the Power of Orgasm
The Shaman and I hit the road full speed ahead. Iceland, Turkey, Italy, Israel, Switzerland, Sweden, London. Two years flew by and so much happened. While living in Europe and the middle East I dove into my sacred feminine, pleasure, tantra and lots of sex as a source of healing and learning.
On the physicality part of the “sexploration” I learned so much about the womans body. I learned that we store our wounds and traumas in the second chakra and you can actually feel them. That orgasms are not just about “getting off”., but serve a much higher purpose. Orgasm can be a direct path to your higher consciousness. There are levels of orgasm and as we release and remove those stored emotions those levels open up and as we reach higher levels of pleasure, we connect deeper with our higher self. Its definitely a form of a spiritual practice when you are conscious and have that intention. Sex is very powerful and often times its power gets misused. Most people use sex to receive the energy and high to feel better, but just like if you use cocaine to feel high, after the high wears off your actually left feeling worse. Sex can be the same when its being misused. When I changed my perspective about sex and released the shame I had around it everything changed. I healed my second chakra and the emotions that were stored there.
Istanbul- The “Heroines Journey” tarot deck gets started
As a young adult and child I always painted. As I removed layers and layers of wounds through all this healing I was doing I started to connect more to my inner child, and she wanted to paint. It was 2017 when I picked up a paint brush for the first time since my early twenties. I decided to paint my journey in the form of a tarot deck.
South East Asia- The Process, Daddy issues, Peace
I ran to Bali because I was no longer in alignment with the “Shaman” I was working with. His goals became more about fame and mine became more about integrity so we parted ways and I retreated to a far off tropical place I heard had really good vegan food.
Bali was a place that represented prayer and stillness. I was able to slow down and process all that had happened. I painted cards for my tarot deck, I went deep into ritual and I detoxed a lot. I worked with some detox centers and learned a lot about that as well. I rotated myself between Thailand and Bali. I journaled, I went to bed early, and I wrote a lot.
One day while living in Thailand I received a phone call and it was about my father whom I never met and this put the closure to my identity crisis I had my whole life. I never knew my dad or even saw a picture of him but I knew his name and knew his character. This connection was huge for my life. I cried for the next 3 months. And shortly after that I heard the ancestors, the Native American ones. They called me to Joshua Tree. So I followed a new thread.
Joshua Tree California- Ancestors, Plant Medicine, Death
Following the thread of my ancestors I moved to Joshua Tree without ever even visiting there. My ancestors told me they have a lot to teach me and that I need to go there. Pretty much upon arrival it all began. My first psilocybin ceremony of my life was with my mother in Joshua Tree on the new moon Eclipse July 2, 2019. This ceremony showed me my childhood, my moms magic and why she had to hide and our grandmothers. It was a super profound medicine experience for us both. My mom puked out poison for two days.
This started my Psilocybin ceremonies with my ancestors. I had about 20 ceremonies during the six months i lived in Joshua Tree. The deeper I went, the more I healed and the more I healed the more I learned. Now today I am able to channel with my ancestors and hold space for others to have a deeply healing session on Psilocybin.
On September 27th, 2019 New Moon, my mom and I were planning for 9 months to launch our apothecary stardust apothecary and on this very day my best friend of 7 years died suddenly and not on purpose but accidentally overdosed on heroine laced with fentinol. He was my soul mate & best friend.. He was my everything, he was my sons everything, he was family, he was my closest person. This death hit us like we never imagined was possible. Grief brings up so much that has nothing to do with the death itself its a trauma and a gift all in one. For the next 3 months I checked out of life and into grief.
2020- A Vision of love, Apothecary, Being present in life.
In December 2019, I made a commitment to a very special man Ive been in love with for 4 years. In 2020 I’ll be moving to Sweden to be with him, to be present in life and dive deep into love. After a decade of being single and wound diving Im ready to be vulnerable and open my heart.
I’m currently focusing my time on my apothecary, private practice and my family.